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Earlier this month, my buddy Patrick Cooke paid me a visit in Bend, Oregon. Pat and I know each other from our Colorado days, particularly my Barr Camp days, when he used to hike up the Barr Trail and hang out. Presently, however, we are both a bit more northwest of Colorado — he in Montana, and I in Oregon. We’ve been working together on a little project though, so this month we’ve found each other in the same place yet again.
As we sat down to dinner at a local restaurant that weekend, we chatted about our experiences with formalized education. I told him that part of me feels like college comes too early in life. I say this because I feel like my desire to learn may be greater now than it was back then. Sure, I liked learning when I was in college, but I feel like my enjoyment of it was overshadowed by the level of stress that I felt. For me, college was a lot of pressure.
This pressure stemmed from the fact that I wanted to do well, which for me meant getting good grades. Hence, I put a lot of pressure on myself to get those As. But the funny thing about grades is that you can ace a test and still not truly grasp the subject matter. It kind of bothers me that I got so caught up in the stamp of approval that I sometimes missed what really mattered.
This sort of thing can be a challenging dynamic in life. As a society, we put a lot of emphasis on succeeding, on getting things right. But ironically, the path to such a goal is often riddled with mistakes. Failed executions, embarrassing blunders, and unexpected bumps in the road are oftentimes what mark the true path to success, not the smooth, logical trajectories that we picture in our heads.
I’ve been thinking about this lately, not so much because of Pat and I’s conversation, but more because of my current experiences building a house with my girlfriend, Jess. In working on the house, I’ve really come to recognize the value in having a space that feels safe and supportive, the kind in which you feel like you can fail your way forward.
If you are constantly afraid of messing things up, it’s hard to take the steps that are needed in order to succeed. On the contrary, it’s a lot easier to take those steps if you feel well supported. Sure, you may stumble a bit, but you are much more likely to get there stumbling than paralyzed in fear.
I feel that in college I kind of messed this up. I put so much pressure on myself to get the outcome that I wanted, that I didn’t leave room for a space in which I could just focus on learning. As a result, I left college with a great grade point average, but not always the best handle on the things that I studied.
But these thoughts aren’t just for academic studies and ambitious house projects. No, they are for virtually anything that we choose to tackle in life. Naturally, my thoughts drift to running. No matter if it’s one mile or 100, training for and running a race can certainly feel intimidating.
Whether you are trying to win, run a personal record, or simply make it to the finish line, you can easily feel pressure to train the right way. At the same time, you can also feel at a loss for not knowing what that might look like. That’s alright. As with both academics and house building, it’s important not to put too much pressure on yourself to have all the answers straight away. That sort of mentality can be crippling. Instead, just get yourself in the game, try some things out, and ask a lot of questions.
I can’t promise that you’ll get it all right. In fact, it might be better if you don’t. Sometimes you learn more that way. I didn’t get everything right in college, and Jess and I certainly won’t get everything perfect as we build the house. But remember, it comes down to more than just a grade on a report card or a time on a clock. So don’t let uncertainty hold you back. Get in there and fail your way forward.
Call for Comments
Have you found yourself getting too hung up on perfection in your training?
And how about in life?
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